originally posted 8/7/20
“The Enterprise transporter malfunctions and beams Kirk onboard with his evil doppelgänger. Later, Kirk and crew are stranded on a frigid planet.”
We open on Sulu holding a small dog in a ridiculous costume. So far there is no explanation for this as a crewman cuts his hand on a sharp rock and gets covered in magnetic ore. No one has remarked upon the costumed dog.
Shatner is now Shatnering his way off the transporter pad. Scotty helps him leave and Evil Kirk appears, with dramatic lighting and facial expressions. After fondling the transporter panel weirdly, he exits.
Good Kirk returns to his quarters for a nap. Evil Kirk accosts Bones for some brandy and is now creeping his way to Yeoman Rand’s quarters
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And Good Kirk is shirtless again.
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Scotty now has the costumed dog. He also has a duplicate costumed dog in a box, being ferocious. Transporter malfunction!
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I think Evil Kirk is wearing guyliner.
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Evil Kirk just tried to rape Yeoman Rand, and I think he just killed a crewman...welp
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Good Kirk and Spock just got into the turbolift to go to sickbay, and then DRAMATIC HAND REVEAL of Evil Kirk’s bloody knuckles.
Ok, looks like he didn’t kill the crewman, just beat him up. But I am VERY disturbed by Rand saying she wouldn’t have reported the rape if there hadn’t been a witness, because she didn’t want to get Kirk into trouble. What, and I cannot stress this enough, the fuck?
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Good Kirk has the costumed dog. The dog remains unimpressed.
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Good Kirk just made an announcement to the crew about what Evil Kirk looks like. Evil Kirk is freaking out because he doesn’t know he’s a duplicate. SHATNER!
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Evil Kirk is covering the scratches on his face with makeup, which is interesting because he’s in Kirk’s quarters, so why does Kirk have foundation? I’m assuming it’s because SHATNER!
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They can’t use the transporter because it keeps duplicating everything. They don’t know how to get the crew off the surface of the planet before they freeze. No shuttlecraft? I thought they had some kind of shuttlrcraft in TOS. Maybe not?
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We’re about to have a SHATNER FIGHT! Wait, no, Spock came in with the Vulcan neck pinch.
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We’re only halfway through the episode but they’ve captured Evil Kirk. They can’t have the transporter problem take up the rest of the episode, so obviously Evil Kirk is going to escape.
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It’s -44 F on the planet and Sulu and crew are keeping warm with thin blankets. Because that would work. Meanwhile, Evil Kirk is screaming. Evil Kirk will die if he’s not rejoined with Good Kirk.
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They’re testing the transporter on Costumed Dog. If they kill Costumed Dog, I’m gonna be pissed.
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THEY KILLED COSTUMED DOG! BASTARDS!
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Both Kirks need to use the transporter because maybe they won’t die. He can’t decide if he’s going to do it or not. Bones says to let him autopsy Costume Dog, Spock says just use the transporter and hope for the best.
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Shatner’s stunt double looks nothing like him.
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Evil Kirk’s scratches have changed cheeks for some reason. CONTINUITY!
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Oh ew. Spock just told Yeoman Rand that “the imposter had some interesting qualities,” WINK WINK! No, Star Trek! No!!
Written by Richard Matheson. WHAT THE HELL, RICHARD MATHESON?
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