originally posted 8/6/20
“A virus causes the crew to lose all self-control, as Sulu threatens the crew with a sword, Spock cries and Bones looks for an antidote.”
Future space suits/hazmat gear can totally be made of your grandma’s ill-advised orange and gold upholstery, and make no seal whatsoever between the helmet and the rest of the suit.
Spock and a crewman have beamed down to a station full of corpses. The crewman, evidently unaware of germ theory, takes off his glove and scratches his nose, thus introducing the virus. Pre-coronavirus we would all say this was stupid, but considering how much stupid we’ve seen this year, this is not unexpected.
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Spock’s pulse is 242 and his blood pressure is “practically non-existent.”’ Evidently this is normal for Vulcans.
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Nurse Chapel sighted!
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So the original replicator involved inserting a plastic punch card, because punch cards. Computers were weird back in the day.
Crewman Germ Theory Joe is in the rec room spreading the virus, while Sulu explains fencing.
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Welp, Germ Theory Joe just stabbed himself. As one does.
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Bones and Nurse Chapel are performing surgery on Germ Theory Joe, but neither is wearing a mask, because germ theory.
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The bridge’s boop noises are confusing Moose (my dog).
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Germ Theory Joe is dead, and everyone is sweaty.
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Now Sulu is showing symptoms. He’s “sweating like a bridegroom.” Time for some fencing!
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Riley the navigator is being the kind of American who’s so proud of being 1/16th Irish that every time he gets drunk, he goes on a rant about the Siege of Drogheda.
And he just infected Nurse Chapel while sexually harassing her. You can tell someone is infected because of the rattlesnake noise the virus makes. You’d think they’d notice that...
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Yup, here’s sweaty, shirtless Sulu running around with a sword. Nothing sums up Star Trek like sweaty, shirtless Sulu running around with a sword.
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Sulu: I’ll protect you, fair maiden!
Uhura (affronted): Sorry, neither!
I thought that was an ad lib, but it looks like it wasn’t, and I am disappointed.
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Vulcan neck pinch sighted!
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And Riley has taken over the engine room, because drama.
Lord, now he’s singing “I’ll Take You Home Again, Kathleen,” because IRELAND
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Dramatic camera tilt while everyone falls over sighted!
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This recap is kind of hard because the episode is a bit repetitive - someone gets infected, acts weird, infects someone else, repeat.
Although I can add that Nurse Chapel has an extremely weird wig this episode. It’s just a strange shape and color, sort of inadvertently foreshadowing Lwaxana Troi.
Naturally, Chapel is in love with Spock. Time for more harassment! It’s a really uncomfortable scene - if someone isn’t into you, back off, lady!
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The drawback of the remastered version being on Netflix is you can see where Spock’s ears are glued on.
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Oh lord, Spock’s crying. That’s hard to watch.
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Scotty can’t change the laws of physics, just fyi.
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Kirk and Spock are having a slap fight.
Now Kirk is infected and EMOTING. He’s in love with the Enterprise. Because that’s not weird.
PULL IT TOGETHER, KIRK!
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And Bones had to rip Kirk’s shirt to inject him, because so far I don’t think he’s completed an episode without showing a little skin. SHATNER!
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So they did a thing to make the engines implode, and now they’re going back in time, because science. Weird to just kind of throw that in at the end of the episode.
So I was going to watch more episodes tonight, but puppy interruptions made this episode take two hours, so I’ll resume recaps tomorrow.
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