“Spock, Bones, Scotty, and others crash land on a planet where they’re attacked by deadly giants. Spock risks their lives on a slim chance at a rescue.”
Grace is joining me for this episode. We’ll see how long she lasts. She’s already giggling at the opening narration for existing.
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There’s a Galactic High Commissioner aboard, because I don’t think they knew how big the galaxy is when they made this. He also doesn’t like delays, because Space Bureaucracy.
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First appearance of a shuttlecraft!
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There are no windows aboard the shuttlecraft. That looks super weird. Also, there are three people aboard who
WON’T die, but no guarantees for the other three.
The shuttlecraft is being pulled into some radiation, and it’s DRAMATIC. They’re lost, and the Enterprise’s sensors can’t find them.
***
We’re watching the opening credits and Grace is amused that it’s weird 60s music and strange transitions.
***
The space bureaucrat is I-told-you-so-ing all over the place. Kirk is unimpressed.
Uhura discovers a class-M planet they could have crashed on. Naturally, they did.
***
On the planet so far everyone is still alive. Spock believes the Enterprise is indeed looking for them, but will have a hard time finding them on the planet’s surface.
***
Grace has given up. Looks like I’m on my own for the rest of the episode.
***
The space bureaucrat’s sleeves have the goofiest little flaps at the back, making it look like he’s wearing a little short cape until he turns around and you can see that no, it’s just weird-ass sleeves.
***
Back on the surface, Bones is randomly taking a dig at Spock and saying logic won’t get them back to the ship. Um...what? Yes it will. What are they supposed to do other than use science and logic to fix the shuttlecraft and/or contact the Enterprise? Just hope for intervention from the Prophets or something? What the hell, Bones?
***
And now Scotty says they don’t have enough fuel to get into orbit unless they leave 500lbs on the surface. Spock immediately says “Approximately the weight of three grown men.” This does not go over well.
***
Meanwhile, monsters.
One redshirt (goldshirt, in this case) gets terminally speared. So now logically they only need to pick two crew members to leave behind, I guess.
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Spock inspects the really giant spear that killed Latimer (the goldshirt) and declares it to be inefficient. This does not go over well.
***
Space Bureaucrat Tinycape is allowing them 24 hours to locate the missing crew members. How generous. No one likes Space Bureaucrat Tinycape.
***
Spock is helping Scotty with repairs while Lt. Boma is burying Latimer. Boma tells Spock they’re ready for the funeral, but Spock says his work with Scotty takes precedence and tells Bones to perform the service. This does not go over well.
***
Outside the shuttlecraft, the monsters are making weird noises. Boma suggests they’re gearing up to attack, and if the Enterprise crew attacks first, it might scare them away. Spock agreed that it’s logical but hesitates to kill another being. This does not go over well.
***
Spock, Boma, and Gaetano go to investigate the noises. Spock orders them to only fire on his command, and at the targets he designated. Gaetano doesn’t like this but he and Boma do as they’re told. Spock has them fire to scare the monsters, and then takes Boma back to the ship and leaves Gaetano on guard.
***
Scotty is planning on altering the shuttlecraft to use their phasers as an alternate fuel supply. Spock agrees, and reminds everyone that if they don’t teach the Enterprise in 24 hours, it’ll leave without them.
***
Grace has returned and is amused by the cheap shuttlecraft set and the dramatic 60s music.
***
On the Enterprise, the transporters now appear to be safe, so Kirk is sending landing parties to search.
***
And now the monsters have found Gaetano. Basically it looks like a lumbering guy in a big furry coat. He approaches Gaetano slowly with his arms pretty much straight up in the air, then just kinda bonks him. This appears to be fatal. OK.
***
Spock, Bones, and Boma find Gaetano’s phaser but not Gaetano. Spock gives the phaser to Bones to return to Scotty. This does not go over well. He then hands over his own phaser in case he doesn’t return and goes off on his own to find Gaetano.
He finds him dead on a rock, and carries him back toward the shuttlecraft. A giant spear flies ineffectively toward him from offscreen, followed by two more. He just kind of looks at them and keeps going. One spear very noticeably knocks some styrofoam off one of the “rocks,” to Grace’s great amusement - we had to watch it again.
As he approaches the shuttlecraft, more spears are unenthusiastically hurled by stagehands, but Spock makes it to safety.
Bones is mad that they didn’t kill any of the monsters. Because of course he is. Meanwhile, the giant furry guy is beating on the shuttlecraft with a boulder. This is, of course, declared to be Spock’s fault.
***
Space Bureaucrat Tinycape reminds Kirk that they only have two hours left. Grace asked if anyone is going to tell him his outfit is ugly.
***
Spock has Scotty use the shuttiecraft’s battery to electrify the hull. This seems to work, at least temporarily. Boma then insists that they bury Gaetano. Spock eventually tells him to go for it, as long as the giant furry guys permit it.
***
Back on the Enterprise, it turns out the landing parties are being attacked by the furry guys. Meanwhile, Space Bureaucrat Tinycape tells Kirk that their time is up. They have to abandon the search. They leave at “space normal speed”
***
Spock gets hit with a boulder and tells them to take off without him, but Bones and Boma rescue him. They take off but determine they can’t stay in orbit and will crash back into the planet. Suddenly, Spock jettisons the fuel and ignites it. This does not go over well.
The Enterprise sees the trail of burning fuel and returns to the planet. Just as the Galileo’s orbit starts to decay, the Enterprise beams them aboard.
On the bridge, Kirk tried to get Spock to admit that it was an act of desperation to ignite the fuel. Spock declares it to have been a logical action. Everyone laughs.
***
So this was a weird episode. The premise was good, but making Spock out to be inept was bizarre. He was wrong to try to scare the furry guys, and insensitive af in a lot of ways, but overall he was trying to get as many people back to the ship as possible. Bones going all “lOgIc iS dUmB” out of the blue was weird and set up unnecessary conflict. They didn’t necessarily have to have the crew wanting to mutiny - they all knew he was the first officer and on TNG, they wouldn’t have had a problem. But for whatever reason they keep beating us over the head with Spock being an alien and that being a good enough reason for people to be shitty to him, and not having the shittiness be the lesson (as in, don’t be shitty). This episode could have been suspenseful and interesting enough without the contrived xenophobia.
Grace may or not join me for the next review - she gets bored with this series. It’s a very different style from what sets used to, so I don’t blame her. But she says she’ll join me once I get to TNG and DS9 - she likes those a lot.
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