“A powerful being claiming to be the Greek god Apollo appears and demands that the crew disembark and worship him.”
I don’t know if I remember seeing this one, but two of the last three episodes were great, so I’m leery that this one will be goofy.
***
We open on the bridge, where McCoy and Scotty are ogling a blonde lieutenant who is giving Kirk a report on a nearby planet. Afterward, Bones tells her she looks tired, and Scotty invites her to get coffee. She accepts, and Kirk and Bones tease Scotty about his crush. After he and Carolyn, the lieutenant, are out of earshot, Bones gets EVEN CREEPIER and says she’s “all woman,” but isn’t into Scotty, and someday she’ll find the right man and give up her Starfleet career for him. Ick.
The bridge crew begins scanning Polex 4, the next planet in the system, and determines it has no life (I guess plants don’t count, considering how green it is from the main viewscreen). Suddenly, a giant glowing green hand appears from the surface and just straight up grabs the Enterprise.
Spock determined it’s a hand-shaped force field. Sulu tries to wiggle the ship free, but this doesn’t work.
They pick up some strange activity abc put it in the viewscreen. It’s a dude. Just a floating space head wearing a laurel wreath. He invites them down to the planet, except for Spock, because Spock looks too much like Pan.
Kirk, Scotty, McCoy, Chekov, and Lt. Carolyn beam down to a Greek-themed soundstage where Floating Space Head guy is lounging in a sparkly gold chiton and gladiator boots. He declares himself to be Apollo. Kirk tries to contact the Enterprise, but his communicator has been disabled. Apollo wants the crew of the Enterprise to stay forever and worship him.
Kirk gets angry and says Apollo has a lot to learn. Apollo retorts that so does Kirk, and then grows until he’s taller than the temple behind him. Welp.
***
On the Enterprise, Uhura reports that all communication frequencies are jammed. Lt. Kyle, the transporter chief, reports that the transporters are also offline. Spock orders a scan of the surface to determine what life is down there.
***
Back on the planet, Giant Apollo just kind of stands there staring at the landing party, then disappears. Kirk has everyone scan the area for a power source, and asks Lt. Carolyn, who has a last name after all - Palamas - what she knows about Apollo. She rattles off some basic facts that I remember learning in grade school when we did a unit on Greek mythology. Kirk then speculates to McCoy that maybe this is the real Apollo, and voila, Apollo reappears.
Kirk asks what he wants, and Apollo says that in exchange for worship, he’ll allow them to live on this planet in paradise. Lt. Palamas says that what he’s been saying makes no sense, and Apollo gives her a creepy once-over and declares her to be wise “for a woman.” He says she’s beautiful like Aphrodite and says she can live with him as a goddess.
Scotty objects to this and tries to shoot Apollo with his phaser, but Apollo shouts his hand with lightning. Chekov tries to use his phaser but it has been disabled.
Apollo turns his attention back to Palomas and declares that “like Artemis, the bow arm should be bare,” which is extra weird because Artemis is his sister, but ok. He transforms her uniform into a long, sparkly pink chiton, which she’s totally ok with. They start to leave together, but Scotty tries to stop them. Apollo backhands him and knocks him out. Palomas tells Kirk that she’ll go with Apollo voluntarily.
Kirk tells Chekov to continue looking for a power source while McCoy tends to Scotty. McCoy is concerned that Apollo might have a mood swing and kill Palomas, but Kirk says she’s doing her job. Scotty wakes up and expresses the same concern, and Kirk yells at him to basically stop thinking with Wee Scotty and do his job, and to stop attacking Apollo.
Kirk speculates that Apollo isn’t a god, but could have been taken for one on Earth 5000 years ago. McCoy agrees.
***
On the Enterprise, Sulu reverses polarity to try to get rid of the giant hand, but it doesn’t work. Meanwhile, Kyle has located the landing party but not Apollo, and Uhura is attempting to bypass the regular sub space frequencies to contact the landing party. Sulu then discovers that there is a source of energy on the planet, but can’t pinpoint exactly where. They all continue their work.
***
On the planet, Apollo shows Palomas a garden, and declares her to be more beautiful than Daphne or Cassandra. She doesn’t seem unsettled by this name-dropping, unless she’s just pretending not to know what Apollo did to those ladies. She does ask what happened to the rest of the Greek gods. Apollo says they returned to the cosmos because no one worshipped them anymore. They all returned to their home planet and slowly died out.
I just noticed they put makeup on Apollo’s exposed nipple to try to hide it, and that’s goofy af.
Meanwhile, the rest of the landing party has determined that there is a power source, but they can’t locate it either. But McCoy has discovered through his tricorder readings that Apollo has an extra organ in his chest that may be his he taps into this power.
Apollo returns, but without Palomas. Scotty calls him a “bloodthirsty Saracen” and tries to attack him again, but Apollo zaps him with lightning, as one does.
Kirk takes exception to this and declared that his Apollo has made them his enemies. Apollo points his lightning finger at Kirk and appears to force-choke him. Intense Shatnering ensues.
Apollo says that they will learn discipline, but suddenly looks exhausted and disappears. Chekov notices this. Kirk recovers and Chekov tells him what he saw. Kirk determines that if they get him to overextend himself, he might get too tired to maintain control over them and the ship.
***
On the Enterprise, work continues. Uhura is rewiring some circuits in her communications panel, and Spock tells her no one is more equipped to handle that than her. Kind of a sweet moment. Sulu is still scanning the surface to determine where the power source isn’t, and Spock tells Kyle to see if they can make holes in the force field to shoot through, and possibly contact the landing party. It’s a definite improvement from the way the crew treated him in The Galileo Seven.
***
Apollo and Palomas reappear. Apollo says he could wipe them all out of existence and bring them back with a wave of his hand. Kirk says they aren’t the same as they were 5000 years ago and have no need of gods, because they find the one perfectly adequate. I guess there are no Hindus in the 23rd century...
Apollo continues trying to convince them to stay. He says to approach him, and the landing party turn their backs. Apollo tells them to gather laurel leaves and sacrifice a deer to him, and they all start laughing at him. Palomas tried to get them to stop, but they ignore her. Apollo finally loses his shit and points his lightning finger at Kirk, but Palomas steps in between them and starts pleading with Apollo to stop. This appears to have ruined Kirk’s plan, but she continues talking anyway. Apollo calms down, then tells Kirk to bring the rest of the crew.
Apollo and Palomas disappear again, and Apollo tells her that he’ll love her forever and they’ll produce a whole new race of demigods together. She’s ok with this and they kiss.
Palomas returns to the landing party to tell them that Apollo wants to provide for them and keep them happy, but Kirk’s new plan is for her to reject Apollo so they can all escape. She doesn’t want to because, of course, she’s in love with this guy she just met. Kirk reminds her that she’s human, and owes it to the rest of humanity to help them escape. She agrees to do her duty, but seems very hesitant.
***
On the Enterprise, Uhura has managed to get the circuits rerouted so she can contact the landing party. Spock various plans have worked - they can shoot through the force field, and pinpointed the power source as Apollo’s temple. Kirk orders them to lock phasers and fire on his command.
***
Meanwhile, Apollo and Palomas are making out. Then Palomas starts asking questions about his evolution and society, and says she’s only been studying him this whole time. She attempts to leave but Apollo summons a storm.
Kirk and the landing party hear Palomas screaming, so Kirk has the Enterprise fire on the temple. Apollo shoots lightning at the Enterprise, but it doesn’t work. Eventually the temple is destroyed. Apollo gives a speech about how he would have loved them as a father loves his children, and made Palomas a goddess, and then tells the other gods to take him. Then he disappears.
Scotty comforts Palomas, and McCoy says he wishes they hadn’t had to destroy the temple. Kirk agrees and waxes philosophical about ancient Greece’s impact on the world, and suggests maybe they should have just gathered done laurel leaves.
***
Ugh.
Picard would have found a way to compromise, I bet. Kirk was grumpy and confrontational the whole time, and Palomas was yet another one dimensional female crew member who’s only purpose was to look pretty for the male characters. Imagine Apollo putting the moves on Dax, or Kira...that would have been amusing.
Chekov’s wig remains terrible. I’m trying to find a way to make a gun joke here but failing. And at least they gave Scotty something to do, but...Saracen? Really?
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