“Aliens on a mission of conquest hold the crew captive”
Since all of Star Trek is moving to Paramount+, I’m not sure if this is a different episode description than what Netflix would have had. Hopefully they aren’t all quite so vague.
Also, I have no clue what this episode is going to be. It isn’t familiar at all, but that’s OK.
***
Uhura is back! And she’s trying to contact Scotty and Sulu, who are leading a landing party on the surface of the uninhabited planet they’re orbiting. They’re half an hour late in checking in, so Kirk is concerned.
Someone in the landing party named Jackson is able to contact the ship, and says he’s ready to beam up, but alone. He doesn’t respond when Kirk asks about the rest of the party.
McCoy and Kirk meet Jackson in the transporter room, but he drops down dead as soon as he materializes. A disembodied voice, evidently emanating from the corpse’s open yet otherwise unmoving mouth, declares the ship to be cursed and if they don’t leave they’ll all die. Cut to opening credits (which are unskippable on Paramount+, evidently)
(Yes, I’m aware I can fast forward. It’s just the principle of the thing 😂)
***
Scotty and Sulu are still unreachable, so Kirk, Spock, and McCoy all beam down to find them, leaving Assistant Chief Engineer DeSalle (from Squire of Gothos! Yay continuity!) in charge. It’s foggy, even though that should be impossible. They explore a bit and Spock begins picking up multiple life forms nearby, even though the ship’s sensors previously indicated the planet was uninhabited. The ship is still only showing the three of them, despite Chekov’s terrible wig’s best intentions.
The wig is spectacularly terrible. Seriously. They were going for Davy Jones mop top and got freshly-shaved hobo. In the future, there are no combs.
The trio suddenly lose contact with the Enterprise, and continue exploring. They hear wind howling, which turns into people wailing. Suddenly, the witches from Macbeth (or a close approximation) appear and warn Kirk, in rhyme, to go back.
Kirk (to Spock): Comment?
Spock: Very bad poetry, Captain.
According to Spock’s readings, the witches aren’t real, but there are life forms ahead. They continue on through dry ice fog and discover a creepy castle. The life forms are inside.
Once inside, they encounter an angry little black kitty wearing a crystal around her neck.
Back on the Enterprise, Chekov and his ungodly wig report to DeSalle that this party has also disappeared. According to Wikipedia, this was supposed to be Chekov’s first episode, but they delayed airing it so it could coincide with Halloween. There, that’s a thing you know now.
On the planet, Kirk’s party follows the angry kitty deeper into the castle, where they fall into a pit and are all knocked unconscious. As happens, of course. When they wake up, they’re chained to the wall of a dungeon. They speculate on why the dungeon exists until Scotty and Sulu enter, completely vacant-faced and pointing a phaser at them.
Kirk tried to communicate, but they don’t respond. He asks Sulu if he knows who he is, and Sulu nods weirdly, then holds up a key. He unchains the three, and Scotty motions for them to walk ahead of him out of the dungeon. They do, but Kirk and Spock turn on Scotty and Sulu. Before anything can happen, though, someone yells “Stop!” and they’re suddenly standing in a throne room.
A weird, round-headed bald man with just the beard part of a goatee is on the throne. He has a pretty epic robe, which is cool. It has a creepy eye embroidered on the front and everything. I don’t know that I’d wear one but hey, if you’re gonna have a dungeon and a throne room, why not wear a flashy, yellow and green, eyeball-themed robe?
And the kitty is there! Yay kitty!
His name is Korob, and he says he didn’t bring the party there, they came to him. Can’t argue with that.
The kitty keeps meowing at him and head booping him, and evidently he can understand her because he says he’s been told he’s an inattentive host. Spock speculates that she’s his familiar.
Korob points out that Spock is different, but it’s unimportant. He makes a feast appear on the table in front of them and insists they eat, but Kirk says no. He turns the feast into gemstones. He says they can keep them, as long as they leave. Kirk says they can make them on the Enterprise.
Korob says that they have passed the tests - they are loyal, brave, and cannot be bribed. The kitty then meows at him and leaves. Two seconds later a woman enters. Naturally, she’s wearing the same crystal as the kitty. Korob introduces her as his colleague, Sylvia. She has turquoise eyeshadow and very tall hair, because 1967. I’m wondering why she has a human name if she’s hanging out with a guy called Korob, but that probably doesn’t matter.
She acknowledges having control of Scotty and Sulu, while fidgeting with the crystal. McCoy seems to be way too interested in that. While she’s talking, though, Kirk jumps on Scotty and takes the phaser. Sylvia is unimpressed.
She holds up the crystal, and it has turned into a tiny replica of the Enterprise. She explains that she made a replica of Jackson, and using sympathetic magic, when she focused on it and wished him dead, he died. She then has Kirk contact the Enterprise, while holding the replica in a candle flame. DeSalle informs Kirk that the ship’s temperature is dramatically rising, and we cut to Chekov’s sweaty face as he says “We’re burning up, sir!”
And cue commercial.
***
Back on the planet, Kirk takes the replica ship from Sylvia. The Enterprise’s temperature returns to normal, but they are again unable to contact Kirk.
Kirk discusses the nature of Korob and Sylvia’s powers, saying they had “tele-kenny-sus.” I’m going to assume he meant telekinesis. Korob starts to talk about their powers, but Sylvia cuts him off. She wants to know about their technology. Kirk says they just need to wait for a search party to come find them, but Korob uses his wand/scepter/thingy to encase the replica Enterprise in a block of resin.
When they won’t answer Sylvia’s questions, Korob has them returned to their cell. Sylvia keeps McCoy behind,
though. She says Kirk’s turn will be next.
On the Enterprise, they are working on ways to break the resin force field. DeSalle declares that he’ll bet “credits to navy beans” that if they can’t break the field, they can put a dent in it. Because that’s a common saying.
In the dungeon, Kirk wonders out loud what they’re doing to “Doc,” something he has never before and most likely never since called Bones.
Spock theorizes that Korob and Sylvia tried to get the answers they wanted from the crew’s conscious minds, but missed and hit the subconscious instead, which is why they’re using Earth imagery (specifically European, or at least from people of European descent). It seems to be a miscommunication, but Kirk still doesn’t like potentially unfriendly aliens trying to get information out of them.
McCoy enters, just as blank-faced as Sulu and Scotty. Sulu unchains Kirk and he is led out of the dungeon.
Meanwhile, Sylvia is telling Korob that he’s a traitor and a fool, and also that she likes having a body. Korob says she’s going against their ways, but she says she can squash him, and might like that. Kirk enters, and Korob exits.
Oh dear. Kirk tells Sylvia that she has no compassion, and that a woman should have compassion. Of course a woman should have compassion, but so should a man, so why gender this? Ugh.
Also, she comes from a world “without sensation,” but sensation excites her and she wants more. That’s Kirk’s cue, but he doesn’t take it right away. She asks how power feels, and then he starts getting handsy.
This scene is getting weird. Korob is watching through a lattice off to the side, while Sylvia tells Kirk she wants a “joining.” Bow-chicka-bow-bow! And they make out while Korob watches. Welp.
Kirk is asking questions while they kiss and she realizes he’s using her. She’s upset, but Kirk says he’s been using him and his crew, which, well, I mean…you get what you give, lady! Kirk is led back to the dungeon.
***
On the Enterprise, DeSalle and Chekov are scanning the force field. Uhura doesn’t see a change, but evidently there is a tiny one. DeSalle orders Chekov to continue weakening the field.
Back in the dungeon, Korob frees Kirk and Spock and says he’s released the Enterprise, although he says they would have gotten free soon. He tells them to go, but the rest of the men can’t leave. He says they should have entered this galaxy in peace. Kirk asks if they have a ship, and Korob answers that they used the transmuter, which is apparently the source of their seemingly magical powers.
Korob warns them that Sylvia means to destroy them all. He leads them out of the dungeon, but Sylvia has turned herself into a giant cat, which is shown by having a shadow of the cute little kitty from earlier projected onto the wall in order to appear huge.
Korob leads them down another hallway, pursued by the grumbly cat shadow. They’re back at the hole in the floor they originally fell through. Korob ends up being crushed by a door as the giant kitty tries to get through.
Kirk grabs the wand/scepter thing and determines it must be the transmuter. After he climbs up through the hole, McCoy appears and attacks him with a mace. Kirk knocks him out, but then there Sulu doing a completely unknown form of karate, because Asian. Scotty attacks Spock, who uses the Vulcan neck pinch on him, so it’s a very short fight. Kirk knocks out Sulu, but giant Sylvia cat is just around the corner.
Kirk grabs the transmuter, and Sylvia transforms bank into a woman. She transport herself and Kirk back to the throne room. She tries to convince Kirk to stay with her, because she can be any woman he wants. He destroys the transmuter and the castle disappears. Everyone returns to normal, but we see Korob and Sylvia’s true forms - funky little puppets that look like background critters from Fraggle Rock. They quickly die, which sucks because Korob wasn’t that bad. The crew beams back to the Enterprise and the episode ends.
***
This was an interesting episode. I hate that they killed off Korob, honestly - it would have been nice to establish a new race from another galaxy without pointless death. If they could have had him imprison Sylvia and return to their galaxy, that would have been a much better ending.
Also, I genuinely missed doing these, so I hope I can keep up with them. Wesley wants to join me in reviewing everything Next Generation and onward. That should be a blast!
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