Potential Arachnid Plot

Took a shower, turned around, saw a spider just hanging there, all upside-down, front legs dangling, looking at me like "I saw what you did to Bruce."  I was polite and said hey, but it just glowered, then slunk back to the ceiling in a menacing fashion.  I may have to be on my guard.

Office work

Ever hit that point in the day (4:45 pm on a Friday) where it seems like a good idea to build a desktop catapult out of office supplies?

...yeah no me neither...*quickly disassembled catapult*

Perhaps a breath mint?

Hello, interesting spider in my bathtub.  You are certainly very oddly-shaped and black.  I will look closer at you.

*looks*

Is that red on you?

*looks closer.  Spider looks back.*

It's hard to see...perhaps if you move into a better position...

*blows on spider.  Spider dies.*

...

Spider?

*spider remains dead*

Seriously?

*blows on spider again.  Spider does not reanimate.*

Is...is this my superpower?