Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Bad Hostess

Friend (looking at phone):  Huh.  My roommate wants to know if I'll be home for dinner.
My Brain:  OFFER FOOD!  OFFER FOOD!
Me (slightly panicked):  Are you hungry?  I can...(abrupt stop at the realization I have run out of truthful words)
My Brain: THERE IS NO FOOD, YOU FOOL!  ABORT!  ABORT!
Friend:  No thanks, I'm good.
Me (relieved):  OK
My Brain:  SCRAMBLED EGGS!  MAKE SCRAMBLED...what?  Oh thank God!

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