Friend (looking at phone): Huh. My roommate wants to know if I'll be home for dinner.
My Brain: OFFER FOOD! OFFER FOOD!
Me (slightly panicked): Are you hungry? I can...(abrupt stop at the realization I have run out of truthful words)
My Brain: THERE IS NO FOOD, YOU FOOL! ABORT! ABORT!
Friend: No thanks, I'm good.
Me (relieved): OK
My Brain: SCRAMBLED EGGS! MAKE SCRAMBLED...what? Oh thank God!
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