What happened was, we were watching He-Man, and I had his baseball bat. The bat was, of course, a sword. Of course. For no reason whatsoever I put the thing under my arm and walked backwards with it. There was a very final-sounding crunch. We both froze. I believe he could see what had happened before I worked up the nerve to turn around.
There was a perfectly round hole right at the gravel line of our 30 gallon aquarium. Water, gravel, plastic plants, and very surprised swordtails were pouring out onto the carpet. Using kid logic, we both ran over and put our hands over the hole to stop the water. Our plan did not go any farther than this.
My dad swears he came home while we were doing this. I don’t remember, but he says he opened the door, saw us with our hands on the tank, looking up at him like deer in the headlights, and he just closed the door and went back outside to laugh for a while.
My brother recognized that we needed to at least try to save the fish, so he ran to the kitchen, filled the sink, and grabbed Dad’s big iced tea glass. We began scooping the increasingly desperate fish into it and dumping them into the sink. There was nothing we could do about the water, so we focused on the fish. Save the fish!
At this point my mom came home. My brother met her at the kitchen door and said, “Mom, don’t worry, we managed to save most of the fish,” as the unfortunate swordtails went belly up one by one in the stainless steel sink filled with cold tap water.
To this day there is a large, dark stain on the hardwood floor in front of where the aquarium used to be. The old carpet and pad had held the water long enough to damage the wood. Sure, there’s newer carpet over it now, but we know it’s there, lurking, waiting for someone to ask about it. And then my dad will tell the story, and we’ll facepalm in embarrassment over childhood misadventures.
I maintain it is my brother’s fault. It was his bat.
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